


Gone with the Wind

by KayeAllen12



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:30:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4181622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayeAllen12/pseuds/KayeAllen12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My relationship with Sehun was the epitome of the relationship status:</p><p>It’s complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone with the Wind

He was always there but never here; always late yet one step ahead. Somehow with me though, not really.  
  
My relationship with Sehun was the epitome of the relationship status:  
  
_It’s complicated._  
  


Sehun was like the wind, unstable, erratic, changing from one course to another; always leaving… always disappearing. 

  
It all started when I was six years old, playing by the swings of the town’s park but not really riding it, just looking because I was afraid of falling and getting hurt; the seesaw’s being the reason for my ridiculous trauma.   
  
I watched the swing which was as still as the wind that summer afternoon. Biting my lip, simply itching to play–  
  
“You know, it’s more fun to ride it than just stand there and stare at it.”   
  
I snapped up at the sound of the voice, my eyes searching till it landed on a boy leaning by the tree, looking amused and curious at the same time. He was tall, with dark hair and a steady gaze. He was wearing a gray shirt over faded jeans; paired with sneakers that looked run down and worn out. He approached me and I wondered how old he was. Probably as old as my older teenage brother.   
  
He crouched in front of me, his hands on his knees as he said, “You’re supposed to ride it, little girl. Not stare at it.”  
  
“I am not little.” I snapped, hating how I was always being called that. I was the youngest out of five, the smallest and was considered as the most naive. Despite that, I considered myself to be strong-willed and brave, just like my mom. My mother who raised us all by herself.  
  
The boy smiled and stood straight, “Okay. What should I call you?”  
  
I told him my name and he nodded, a small smile protruding from his lips. “Okay, Y/N. Do you want me to help you ride the swings?”  
  
My gaze switched from him to the swings then back towards him again. “I–I can’t.”  
  
“Why not?” He frowned.  
  
“Because, it’s dangerous!” I explained, my voice raising. “I could fall!”  
  
“Not if someone will catch you.” He said a matter of fact before maneuvering to the swings and holding his hand out towards me. “Come on, I swear it’s more fun than just standing there.”  
  
I looked at him and wondered why he would offer to catch me when I hardly knew him. But my desire to play was too overwhelming that I couldn’t help but take his hand and let him settle myself onto the swing’s seat.  
  
I gripped the swing’s chains for dear life and closed my eyes. A low chuckle sounded behind me, followed by words I knew I would remember forever…   
  
“I won’t let you fall.” He said, his voice assuring and somehow I believed him.   
  
I nodded and smiled, my head craning to look up at him. “What’s your name, mister?”  
  
He smiled down at me and began to push me gently. My stomach somersaulted in excitement, my toes curling and my feet swung slightly.   
  
He was right. It  _was_  more fun.   
  
“You can call me Sehun.” He said and I knew that name I would always remember.   
  
~~~  
  
I didn’t see him after that week. He played with me in the park every afternoon, teaching me how to cross the monkey bars, how to play hopscotch, and even how to ride the seesaw without falling.  
  
Sehun was my best friend and I was devastated when one afternoon, in our usual meeting place by the tree, he was not there. I waited for him till the sun set, till night came and my older brother came to look for me and take me home.   
  
But he never came.  
  
The same happened in the following days, with me crying as my brother took me home. He asked me why I always cried and I always answered: “Because my best friend is not here.”

* * *

  
  
**_10 years later_**  
  
I was sixteen and watching my friends as they talk about girl stuff: of prom dates and first kisses; driver’s licenses and house parties; late nights and R-18 movies.   
  
I always found myself floating through conversations. It was like I was there listening and answering at the right moments, but at the same time I wasn’t; my mind drifting towards somewhere else… A place I wasn’t sure where, exactly.   
  
I found reading to be a good solution–a good excuse for my odd social behavior. It gave me a reason to keep my mind rooted, keep it still and not drifting off to places where it shouldn’t be in.   
  
Sitting by the second floor steps of the old building at lunch, I opened my book and succumb to the world it has to offer. I’ve always loved quiet places, of spacious rooms that echoed the smallest of sounds. Somehow I found it rather calming–  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be hanging out with your friends?”  
  
I look up at the sound of the voice and almost choked on my own spit when I saw a familiar face leaning against the lockers opposite me. He looked exactly the same, except his hair is longer and his face was even more handsome than I remember. My eyes stared at him openly for I was unsure of my reaction.   
  
“You know, I’ve been to the campus garden.” Sehun told. “And I can tell you that it looked more fun in there than isolating yourself here.”   
  
“I–” I gulped, willing myself to find my voice to speak. “I’m not really into the whole ‘hanging out’ thing.”  
  
“Why not?” He asked and I shrugged. I never really knew why. I just liked being alone.  
  
Sehun approached and sat by a couple of steps below me. He looked at me then at the book in my hand. “That any good?”  
  
I looked at the book then nodded slowly.   
  
“You seem unsure.” He chuckled, the sound so familiar I felt an ache in my chest.  
  
“Why did you go?” I suddenly asked, unable to hold it any longer. I saw his expression change, a dark cloud crossing his features. There was a pause that hung in the air, almost like smoke evaporating in the atmosphere. I bit my lower lip, a habit I have grown accustomed to, as I waited for an answer…waited for an explanation as to why he left without a goodbye.   
  
“What matters is that I came back, right?” He replied with a small smile and just like that, I have forgiven him.   
  
~~~  
  
Sehun resumed his best friend duties, with a couple of months flying by in a blur of laughter, long nights, and afternoons that promised only the happiest of times–the most precious of moments.   
  
One moment in particular, was the most precious of them all.  
  
“You ever thought about having a boyfriend?” Sehun asked as he laid back on the tree trunk while I turned to look at him just as I threw a pebble into the lake; the stone skipping three times before sinking.   
  
“A boyfriend?” I scrunched my nose and he chuckled as he laced his fingers behind his head.  
  
“Yeah. I hear your friends talk about it  _all_  day.” He drawled.  
  
“Well I wouldn’t want to be like that.” I said as I approached him. “Having to talk about one thing seems incredibly boring and stupid.”  
  
I plopped down next to him and sighed, thinking about his question. The truth was, the desire to have someone to love was present yet I couldn’t seem to pinpoint exactly why I haven’t let anyone in; why I turned down all those boys who asked me to prom or those blind dates my friends set up for me.   
  
“You know, it’s fun having a boyfriend too.” Sehun suggestd and I looked at him questioningly.  
  
“You know, you always tell me fun things to do.” I said. “Why not tell me something you want to do for a change?” I smiled suggestively.  
  
Sehun looked taken aback by my question which made me giggle slightly. He suddenly seemed nervous and at a loss for words.   
  
“Well, I–” he started and I hummed as I fidgeted with my shoelace, prodding him to continue.  
  
“I want to experience all these fun things…” He said and I was about to tell him that he could–  
  
_“With you._ ”  
  
At that I turned towards him and our gazes locked. Sehun was my best friend and we did everything together. He walked me to school, we read the same books, and we spent almost every single day together.   
  
That’s when I realized, as our heads leant towards each other dangerously close, that I have fallen in love with him. Fallen in love with my best friend…  
  
“Sehun.” I whispered and I saw a flash of a smile before his lips met mine in a kiss. He tasted of caramel and summer delights; of promises that were never said yet truly felt. He tasted of love and I swore it was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. I have never felt the need of wanting more till the moment his lips captured mine.  
  
When we parted, I was in a daze and so was he, his eyes sparkling and his smile brighter than any smile I have ever seen him wear.   
  
“I’ll take that as a yes?” He asked playfully and I nodded before pulling him in for another… and another…and another.   
  
~~~  
  
The next morning, I woke up feeling lightheaded, like I was literally walking on clouds. I dressed up in a rush and even made myself to brush my hair and make myself look pretty.  
  
Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw someone different: someone who looked happier and livelier. Someone more pink than gray.   
  
_So this is what love does to you_ , I thought happily before skipping out of my room to meet Sehun at our usual place.   
  
~~~  
  
Three hours.  
  
It has been three hours since I arrived, the sun was already high in the sky and an X would’ve been marked on my name in my English class’ attendance list by now.   
  
I took a deep breath and told myself over and over:  _He’s just running late, maybe there was an emergency?_  
  
But a small voice in my head said otherwise. The voice of my six-year-old self in particular said– _knew–_ that this was yet another repetition of the fateful day:  
  
The day Sehun disappeared.  
  
“He’ll be back.” I told myself even if the sun was already giving way to the moon and my mind already knew that he wouldn’t.

* * *

  
  
**_7 Years later_**  
  
The rain was pouring hard and I forgot my umbrella.  
  
_From all the days_ , I cursed and I grabbed my coat and ran headfirst into the cold downpour, my feet slapping against the wet pavement.   
  
A subway and a bus ride later, I arrived at my apartment, my body almost giving up the moment my feet stepped into the lobby. I greeted Jerry, the security guard of the building, and handed him a bagel from my bag which I bought from the cafe near my office.  
  
“Thanks, Y/N.” The elderly man said and I smiled.   
  
“No problem.” Before I could go up the elevator, he called me back.  
  
“You have a visitor, by the way. Told him to stay but he seems adamant to wait for you on your floor.”  
  
“What?” I asked incredulously. “What if he was a killer or something?!”  
  
“Relax.” He assured. “I searched him and the boy looked harmless.”  
  
“Boy..” I said before nodding at him and walking towards the elevators. As I reached my floor, the hallway was dimly lit by a yellow lamp, the lighting from the storm casting eerie shadows across the floors.  
  
My heart thumped in my chest as I walked down the hall, feeling my footsteps weigh as heavy as dumbbells. My feet were killing me and I need to sit down though my exhaustion was suddenly forgotten the moment I turned the corner of the hallway which led to my apartment door.  
  
Hunched over on the floor by my door was a man in a black hoodie, his blue jeans looking darker than it should; perhaps dampened by the rain and his shoes–  
  
I gulped, recognizing the familiar sneakers, and took a step back. My heels clicked louder than it should, causing the man to look up and my eyes widened as it locked with the gaze of the one man whom I never thought I would ever see again though secretly hoped I would.   
  
“Y/N.” Sehun gasped as he stood up. He looked exactly as I’ve last seen him; his hair was slightly wet, his face was still an image of sharp angles and strong expressions; a sharp contrast to the warmth his brown eyes–his gaze sent through me.  
  
I took a step back as he approached and I saw the hurt flash across his features. “You–”  
  
“Y/N–”  
  
“ _Don’t_!” I said sternly, holding my hand up. “Don’t come any closer.”  
  
“Y/N, it’s me.” Sehun said almost pleading.   
  
“I know exactly who you are.” I spat. “And I want you to leave.”  
  
I walked passed him but he grabbed my arm and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me from behind.   
  
“I’m sorry.” He gasped against my shoulder. “Please, Y/N–”  
  
“ _You left me_.” I croaked, feeling tears threatening to come. “You kissed me and then you  _left_ –”  
  
“I know. I–”  
  
“That wasn’t the first time, Sehun.” I chuckled menacingly as I shook away from his grip. I looked at him and glared despite seeing the brokenness in his expression. “You have an odd tendency of appearing and disappearing.”  
  
Sehun closed his mouth and pursed his lips, unable to explain.   
  
“You can’t just come, make me happy, make me  _love you_ ,” I emphasized. “Then just leave without a goodbye–”  
  
“I’m sorry–”  
  
I cursed and yelled, “ _I don’t care about your sorry’s!_  I want to know why you just leave and keep coming back–”  
  
“Because I love you.” Sehun yelled back which caused me to shut up. He advanced towards me until my back hit the wall, his body hovering over me while his hands leant on either side of me; trapped in his very own cage. “I come back because I love you, Y/N.”  
  
“Loved me?” I croaked, disbelieving. “ _You left me._ ”  
  
“ _Love_.” He said sternly. “I  _love_  you. As in present…” His eyes gazed lazily down to my lips and I could practically feel his hot breath mingling with mine with how close we were standing. “As in.. I still do.” His lips went down on mine hungrily and the initial reaction was to push him away.  
  
But I didn’t.  
  
Somehow, the kiss had escalated to something more heated and passionate and we found ourselves fumbling and stumbling into my apartment, found myself lying underneath him; our bodies melding into one under tangled sheets and ragged breaths.  
  
All my frustrations, the loneliness of all those years were wiped away in a single night. And there was only him…only Sehun.   
  
“I love you.” He murmured as his lips trailed searing yet sweet kisses all over my body.   
  
“I love you.” I said and a tear fell as I succumbed to his love and willingly gave him my everything.   
  
~~~  
  
We lay there on my bed, with me cocooned in his arms and my hand flat on his bare chest. Our breathing was in sync just as our hearts were and I wondered if it was just a coincidence or mere fate.  
  
“Y/N?”   
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“I’m sorry.” He said as he traced invisible circles on my arm. I shivered at his touch and looked up at him.   
  
“Why do you go?” I asked. “Why do you suddenly disappear?”  
  
Sehun looked away and stared up at the ceiling. The rain had stopped and the moonlight washed over the room in a bluish haze, making it seem equally eerie and romantic.  
  
“Because it’s what I do. I’m a Wanderer.”  
  
“A what?”  
  
Sehun sighs and pulls me closer. “Time is a funny thing.” He said. “It’s constant yet causes changes and shifts in the universe.” I remain still, listening to him as he continued.   
  
“I am as constant as time yet I don’t stay in one place or remain constant in one moment.”  
  
“Are you saying–” I sat up and looked at him, seeing no jesting in his expression. He was indeed serious about what he’s talking about.   
  
He nodded as he caressed my cheek, “I couldn’t help it. I come and go as time pleases. I have no control.”  
  
“How did this happen?”  
  
“I don’t know. I’ve been a Wanderer ever since I could remember.”   
  
“That’s why you never–” I gasped, realizing how he still looked the same despite having met him years ago.   
  
Sehun nodded, “That was me who taught you how to ride the swings.” He chuckled as he played with my hair. “You were so cute then with the pigtails.”   
  
I smiled and leant against his touch as his hand moved to cup my cheek. “I was the one who told you to hang out with your friends.”  
  
“I remember.” I snorted.   
  
“And you’re still eating alone, aren’t you?”  
  
“I like being alone…” I protested.  
  
“I’ve always been alone.” Sehun sighed. “And I often find it saddening.”  
  
“Yeah?” I said, knowing exactly what he meant. It was the same feeling when he disappeared all of a sudden.   
  
“I would prefer to be alone,” he said, looking at me. “As long as it’s with you.”  
  
I blushed at his statement, “Me too.”   
  
Sehun smiled and pushed himself up to give me a kiss. He leant his forehead against mine and said, “I wasn’t supposed to make you fall. I wasn’t supposed to fall for you, either. But–”  
  
“But?” I asked as I traced his lip with my forefinger.  
  
“But I can’t help it.”  
  
“Have you ever loved another?” I asked. “Form another time? Place?”  
  
Sehun paused then shook his head, which surprised me. “It’s only now that I thought my gift as a curse. The moment I met you, I never wanted to wander again. I wanted to stay.”  
  


A tear fell from my eye at his words and Sehun swiped them away with his thumb. "Just remember, Y/N. What’s important is that I keep coming back. That I find my way back to you.“  
  
“You’re going to leave–” I choked a sob and he hugged me close, holding my head against his chest.   
  
“I will always leave.” He said sadly. “Time will always pull me away and change everything.”  
  
“It’s so unfair.” I cried.  
  
“I know.” He said and Sehun felt a tear slipping from his eye. As the teardrop rolled down his cheeks, he realized that it was the first time that he shed a tear.   
  
“But one thing will never change,” he said, his voice determined. “I love you, Y/N. And I will love you till time takes me away.”

He closed his eyes tightly as he hugged my sobbing form; as if holding me closer could keep time from separating us.   
  
“I promise.”

* * *

  
  
Sehun came back thrice after that. On the third, he chose not to stay.  
  
“What do you mean–” I whispered as I watched him pace the living room of my apartment.  
  
“You turned him down.” He said, referring to the man who has been vying for my affections since I accepted my new job. Namjoon was a great guy; smart, polite, rich, and practically every woman’s dream husband.   
  
I admit that I am attracted to him but–  
  
“We can’t have a life together, Y/N.” Sehun said. “You can’t keep waiting for me…”  
  
“You always come back.” I said as I reached out for his hand. Sehun looked down at our linked hands and squeezed it once.  
  
“What if I don’t, next time?” He murmured.  
  
“Don’t say that–”  
  
“I don’t want you to grow old alone just because you were waiting for someone who can never be here…whom you can never have a normal relationship with!” He blurted and his words cut through me like a knife.   
  
“Sehun–” I said as I watched his chest heaving, his face wearing an expression of despair. “Love, look at me.” I said as I cupped his cheeks which were now tear-stained.  
  
“I don’t want you to be alone.” He said. “I want you to live your life the way people should. Marry and have kids. Grow old and have grandchildren. I want you–”  
  
“I don’t mind being alone.” I interrupted. “As long as it’s with you.”   
  
Sehun groaned and grabbed my hands, pressing it together against his cheeks. “Y/N, please.” He pleaded. “Don’t let me stop you–”  
  
“You don’t get to make that choice for me, Sehun.” I said seriously. “You’re the only one I want.”   
  
Sehun opened his eyes and looked at me. Despite being in my late thirties, he still looked the same–and even looked at me the same way. 

 _I guess there are some things time can’t change_ , I thought just as the room fell still, like air had ceased. Sehun gulped before kissing my palms and looking me straight in the eye.  
  
“Forgive me, Y/N.” He said and in those words I felt the depth of his love…as well as the hint of a permanent goodbye.   
  
My heart thumped in panic but before I could ask what he meant, a deafening howl of wind sounded and the windows opened with a bang, letting in an incredibly strong rush of wind. I closed my eyes as my hair flailed around me and felt something soft against my forehead.   
  
Then there was quietness. As I opened my eyes, I gasped, seeing that the room remained intact and untouched…  
  
Except for the fact that the most important being in that room–in my life–has completely disappeared. 

* * *

Sehun never came back and had gone with the wind just like that.   
  
I dated as he asked but never married. I had children–adopted ones, and they are now grown up and are working for their own lives; painting the world as if it were their canvas.  
  
I am now living alone in my house near the sea, a place which I had decided to stay mainly because it reminded me so much of him.  
  
Of Sehun.  
  
By the sea, I felt the breeze rush through my hair like a soft caress, the way Sehun would as he tangled his fingers against the strands. The wind made me shiver just as Sehun had with his warm touches that trailed fire across my body.   
  
He was my first…my last…my everything. And nothing was to change that. Not even time could change that.   
  
“I will love you till time takes me away.” I whispered to space, hoping that he could hear it… Hoping the wind can carry my message through. 

* * *

  
  
~~~  
  
**BONUS**  
  
_**(Sehun’s POV)**_

He was always there but never here; always late yet one step ahead. Somehow with me though, not really.  
  
My relationship with Sehun was the epitome of the relationship status:  
  
_It’s complicated._  
  


Sehun was like the wind, unstable, erratic, changing from one course to another; always leaving… always disappearing. 

  
It all started when I was six years old, playing by the swings of the town’s park but not really riding it, just looking because I was afraid of falling and getting hurt; the seesaw’s being the reason for my ridiculous trauma.   
  
I watched the swing which was as still as the wind that summer afternoon. Biting my lip, simply itching to play–  
  
“You know, it’s more fun to ride it than just stand there and stare at it.”   
  
I snapped up at the sound of the voice, my eyes searching till it landed on a boy leaning by the tree, looking amused and curious at the same time. He was tall, with dark hair and a steady gaze. He was wearing a gray shirt over faded jeans; paired with sneakers that looked run down and worn out. He approached me and I wondered how old he was. Probably as old as my older teenage brother.   
  
He crouched in front of me, his hands on his knees as he said, “You’re supposed to ride it, little girl. Not stare at it.”  
  
“I am not little.” I snapped, hating how I was always being called that. I was the youngest out of five, the smallest and was considered as the most naive. Despite that, I considered myself to be strong-willed and brave, just like my mom. My mother who raised us all by herself.  
  
The boy smiled and stood straight, “Okay. What should I call you?”  
  
I told him my name and he nodded, a small smile protruding from his lips. “Okay, Y/N. Do you want me to help you ride the swings?”  
  
My gaze switched from him to the swings then back towards him again. “I–I can’t.”  
  
“Why not?” He frowned.  
  
“Because, it’s dangerous!” I explained, my voice raising. “I could fall!”  
  
“Not if someone will catch you.” He said a matter of fact before maneuvering to the swings and holding his hand out towards me. “Come on, I swear it’s more fun than just standing there.”  
  
I looked at him and wondered why he would offer to catch me when I hardly knew him. But my desire to play was too overwhelming that I couldn’t help but take his hand and let him settle myself onto the swing’s seat.  
  
I gripped the swing’s chains for dear life and closed my eyes. A low chuckle sounded behind me, followed by words I knew I would remember forever…   
  
“I won’t let you fall.” He said, his voice assuring and somehow I believed him.   
  
I nodded and smiled, my head craning to look up at him. “What’s your name, mister?”  
  
He smiled down at me and began to push me gently. My stomach somersaulted in excitement, my toes curling and my feet swung slightly.   
  
He was right. It  _was_  more fun.   
  
“You can call me Sehun.” He said and I knew that name I would always remember.   
  
~~~  
  
I didn’t see him after that week. He played with me in the park every afternoon, teaching me how to cross the monkey bars, how to play hopscotch, and even how to ride the seesaw without falling.  
  
Sehun was my best friend and I was devastated when one afternoon, in our usual meeting place by the tree, he was not there. I waited for him till the sun set, till night came and my older brother came to look for me and take me home.   
  
But he never came.  
  
The same happened in the following days, with me crying as my brother took me home. He asked me why I always cried and I always answered: “Because my best friend is not here.”

* * *

  
  
**_10 years later_**  
  
I was sixteen and watching my friends as they talk about girl stuff: of prom dates and first kisses; driver’s licenses and house parties; late nights and R-18 movies.   
  
I always found myself floating through conversations. It was like I was there listening and answering at the right moments, but at the same time I wasn’t; my mind drifting towards somewhere else… A place I wasn’t sure where, exactly.   
  
I found reading to be a good solution–a good excuse for my odd social behavior. It gave me a reason to keep my mind rooted, keep it still and not drifting off to places where it shouldn’t be in.   
  
Sitting by the second floor steps of the old building at lunch, I opened my book and succumb to the world it has to offer. I’ve always loved quiet places, of spacious rooms that echoed the smallest of sounds. Somehow I found it rather calming–  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be hanging out with your friends?”  
  
I look up at the sound of the voice and almost choked on my own spit when I saw a familiar face leaning against the lockers opposite me. He looked exactly the same, except his hair is longer and his face was even more handsome than I remember. My eyes stared at him openly for I was unsure of my reaction.   
  
“You know, I’ve been to the campus garden.” Sehun told. “And I can tell you that it looked more fun in there than isolating yourself here.”   
  
“I–” I gulped, willing myself to find my voice to speak. “I’m not really into the whole ‘hanging out’ thing.”  
  
“Why not?” He asked and I shrugged. I never really knew why. I just liked being alone.  
  
Sehun approached and sat by a couple of steps below me. He looked at me then at the book in my hand. “That any good?”  
  
I looked at the book then nodded slowly.   
  
“You seem unsure.” He chuckled, the sound so familiar I felt an ache in my chest.  
  
“Why did you go?” I suddenly asked, unable to hold it any longer. I saw his expression change, a dark cloud crossing his features. There was a pause that hung in the air, almost like smoke evaporating in the atmosphere. I bit my lower lip, a habit I have grown accustomed to, as I waited for an answer…waited for an explanation as to why he left without a goodbye.   
  
“What matters is that I came back, right?” He replied with a small smile and just like that, I have forgiven him.   
  
~~~  
  
Sehun resumed his best friend duties, with a couple of months flying by in a blur of laughter, long nights, and afternoons that promised only the happiest of times–the most precious of moments.   
  
One moment in particular, was the most precious of them all.  
  
“You ever thought about having a boyfriend?” Sehun asked as he laid back on the tree trunk while I turned to look at him just as I threw a pebble into the lake; the stone skipping three times before sinking.   
  
“A boyfriend?” I scrunched my nose and he chuckled as he laced his fingers behind his head.  
  
“Yeah. I hear your friends talk about it  _all_  day.” He drawled.  
  
“Well I wouldn’t want to be like that.” I said as I approached him. “Having to talk about one thing seems incredibly boring and stupid.”  
  
I plopped down next to him and sighed, thinking about his question. The truth was, the desire to have someone to love was present yet I couldn’t seem to pinpoint exactly why I haven’t let anyone in; why I turned down all those boys who asked me to prom or those blind dates my friends set up for me.   
  
“You know, it’s fun having a boyfriend too.” Sehun suggestd and I looked at him questioningly.  
  
“You know, you always tell me fun things to do.” I said. “Why not tell me something you want to do for a change?” I smiled suggestively.  
  
Sehun looked taken aback by my question which made me giggle slightly. He suddenly seemed nervous and at a loss for words.   
  
“Well, I–” he started and I hummed as I fidgeted with my shoelace, prodding him to continue.  
  
“I want to experience all these fun things…” He said and I was about to tell him that he could–  
  
_“With you._ ”  
  
At that I turned towards him and our gazes locked. Sehun was my best friend and we did everything together. He walked me to school, we read the same books, and we spent almost every single day together.   
  
That’s when I realized, as our heads leant towards each other dangerously close, that I have fallen in love with him. Fallen in love with my best friend…  
  
“Sehun.” I whispered and I saw a flash of a smile before his lips met mine in a kiss. He tasted of caramel and summer delights; of promises that were never said yet truly felt. He tasted of love and I swore it was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. I have never felt the need of wanting more till the moment his lips captured mine.  
  
When we parted, I was in a daze and so was he, his eyes sparkling and his smile brighter than any smile I have ever seen him wear.   
  
“I’ll take that as a yes?” He asked playfully and I nodded before pulling him in for another… and another…and another.   
  
~~~  
  
The next morning, I woke up feeling lightheaded, like I was literally walking on clouds. I dressed up in a rush and even made myself to brush my hair and make myself look pretty.  
  
Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw someone different: someone who looked happier and livelier. Someone more pink than gray.   
  
_So this is what love does to you_ , I thought happily before skipping out of my room to meet Sehun at our usual place.   
  
~~~  
  
Three hours.  
  
It has been three hours since I arrived, the sun was already high in the sky and an X would’ve been marked on my name in my English class’ attendance list by now.   
  
I took a deep breath and told myself over and over:  _He’s just running late, maybe there was an emergency?_  
  
But a small voice in my head said otherwise. The voice of my six-year-old self in particular said– _knew–_ that this was yet another repetition of the fateful day:  
  
The day Sehun disappeared.  
  
“He’ll be back.” I told myself even if the sun was already giving way to the moon and my mind already knew that he wouldn’t.

* * *

  
  
**_7 Years later_**  
  
The rain was pouring hard and I forgot my umbrella.  
  
_From all the days_ , I cursed and I grabbed my coat and ran headfirst into the cold downpour, my feet slapping against the wet pavement.   
  
A subway and a bus ride later, I arrived at my apartment, my body almost giving up the moment my feet stepped into the lobby. I greeted Jerry, the security guard of the building, and handed him a bagel from my bag which I bought from the cafe near my office.  
  
“Thanks, Y/N.” The elderly man said and I smiled.   
  
“No problem.” Before I could go up the elevator, he called me back.  
  
“You have a visitor, by the way. Told him to stay but he seems adamant to wait for you on your floor.”  
  
“What?” I asked incredulously. “What if he was a killer or something?!”  
  
“Relax.” He assured. “I searched him and the boy looked harmless.”  
  
“Boy..” I said before nodding at him and walking towards the elevators. As I reached my floor, the hallway was dimly lit by a yellow lamp, the lighting from the storm casting eerie shadows across the floors.  
  
My heart thumped in my chest as I walked down the hall, feeling my footsteps weigh as heavy as dumbbells. My feet were killing me and I need to sit down though my exhaustion was suddenly forgotten the moment I turned the corner of the hallway which led to my apartment door.  
  
Hunched over on the floor by my door was a man in a black hoodie, his blue jeans looking darker than it should; perhaps dampened by the rain and his shoes–  
  
I gulped, recognizing the familiar sneakers, and took a step back. My heels clicked louder than it should, causing the man to look up and my eyes widened as it locked with the gaze of the one man whom I never thought I would ever see again though secretly hoped I would.   
  
“Y/N.” Sehun gasped as he stood up. He looked exactly as I’ve last seen him; his hair was slightly wet, his face was still an image of sharp angles and strong expressions; a sharp contrast to the warmth his brown eyes–his gaze sent through me.  
  
I took a step back as he approached and I saw the hurt flash across his features. “You–”  
  
“Y/N–”  
  
“ _Don’t_!” I said sternly, holding my hand up. “Don’t come any closer.”  
  
“Y/N, it’s me.” Sehun said almost pleading.   
  
“I know exactly who you are.” I spat. “And I want you to leave.”  
  
I walked passed him but he grabbed my arm and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me from behind.   
  
“I’m sorry.” He gasped against my shoulder. “Please, Y/N–”  
  
“ _You left me_.” I croaked, feeling tears threatening to come. “You kissed me and then you  _left_ –”  
  
“I know. I–”  
  
“That wasn’t the first time, Sehun.” I chuckled menacingly as I shook away from his grip. I looked at him and glared despite seeing the brokenness in his expression. “You have an odd tendency of appearing and disappearing.”  
  
Sehun closed his mouth and pursed his lips, unable to explain.   
  
“You can’t just come, make me happy, make me  _love you_ ,” I emphasized. “Then just leave without a goodbye–”  
  
“I’m sorry–”  
  
I cursed and yelled, “ _I don’t care about your sorry’s!_  I want to know why you just leave and keep coming back–”  
  
“Because I love you.” Sehun yelled back which caused me to shut up. He advanced towards me until my back hit the wall, his body hovering over me while his hands leant on either side of me; trapped in his very own cage. “I come back because I love you, Y/N.”  
  
“Loved me?” I croaked, disbelieving. “ _You left me._ ”  
  
“ _Love_.” He said sternly. “I  _love_  you. As in present…” His eyes gazed lazily down to my lips and I could practically feel his hot breath mingling with mine with how close we were standing. “As in.. I still do.” His lips went down on mine hungrily and the initial reaction was to push him away.  
  
But I didn’t.  
  
Somehow, the kiss had escalated to something more heated and passionate and we found ourselves fumbling and stumbling into my apartment, found myself lying underneath him; our bodies melding into one under tangled sheets and ragged breaths.  
  
All my frustrations, the loneliness of all those years were wiped away in a single night. And there was only him…only Sehun.   
  
“I love you.” He murmured as his lips trailed searing yet sweet kisses all over my body.   
  
“I love you.” I said and a tear fell as I succumbed to his love and willingly gave him my everything.   
  
~~~  
  
We lay there on my bed, with me cocooned in his arms and my hand flat on his bare chest. Our breathing was in sync just as our hearts were and I wondered if it was just a coincidence or mere fate.  
  
“Y/N?”   
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“I’m sorry.” He said as he traced invisible circles on my arm. I shivered at his touch and looked up at him.   
  
“Why do you go?” I asked. “Why do you suddenly disappear?”  
  
Sehun looked away and stared up at the ceiling. The rain had stopped and the moonlight washed over the room in a bluish haze, making it seem equally eerie and romantic.  
  
“Because it’s what I do. I’m a Wanderer.”  
  
“A what?”  
  
Sehun sighs and pulls me closer. “Time is a funny thing.” He said. “It’s constant yet causes changes and shifts in the universe.” I remain still, listening to him as he continued.   
  
“I am as constant as time yet I don’t stay in one place or remain constant in one moment.”  
  
“Are you saying–” I sat up and looked at him, seeing no jesting in his expression. He was indeed serious about what he’s talking about.   
  
He nodded as he caressed my cheek, “I couldn’t help it. I come and go as time pleases. I have no control.”  
  
“How did this happen?”  
  
“I don’t know. I’ve been a Wanderer ever since I could remember.”   
  
“That’s why you never–” I gasped, realizing how he still looked the same despite having met him years ago.   
  
Sehun nodded, “That was me who taught you how to ride the swings.” He chuckled as he played with my hair. “You were so cute then with the pigtails.”   
  
I smiled and leant against his touch as his hand moved to cup my cheek. “I was the one who told you to hang out with your friends.”  
  
“I remember.” I snorted.   
  
“And you’re still eating alone, aren’t you?”  
  
“I like being alone…” I protested.  
  
“I’ve always been alone.” Sehun sighed. “And I often find it saddening.”  
  
“Yeah?” I said, knowing exactly what he meant. It was the same feeling when he disappeared all of a sudden.   
  
“I would prefer to be alone,” he said, looking at me. “As long as it’s with you.”  
  
I blushed at his statement, “Me too.”   
  
Sehun smiled and pushed himself up to give me a kiss. He leant his forehead against mine and said, “I wasn’t supposed to make you fall. I wasn’t supposed to fall for you, either. But–”  
  
“But?” I asked as I traced his lip with my forefinger.  
  
“But I can’t help it.”  
  
“Have you ever loved another?” I asked. “Form another time? Place?”  
  
Sehun paused then shook his head, which surprised me. “It’s only now that I thought my gift as a curse. The moment I met you, I never wanted to wander again. I wanted to stay.”  
  


A tear fell from my eye at his words and Sehun swiped them away with his thumb. "Just remember, Y/N. What’s important is that I keep coming back. That I find my way back to you.“  
  
“You’re going to leave–” I choked a sob and he hugged me close, holding my head against his chest.   
  
“I will always leave.” He said sadly. “Time will always pull me away and change everything.”  
  
“It’s so unfair.” I cried.  
  
“I know.” He said and Sehun felt a tear slipping from his eye. As the teardrop rolled down his cheeks, he realized that it was the first time that he shed a tear.   
  
“But one thing will never change,” he said, his voice determined. “I love you, Y/N. And I will love you till time takes me away.”

He closed his eyes tightly as he hugged my sobbing form; as if holding me closer could keep time from separating us.   
  
“I promise.”

* * *

  
  
Sehun came back thrice after that. On the third, he chose not to stay.  
  
“What do you mean–” I whispered as I watched him pace the living room of my apartment.  
  
“You turned him down.” He said, referring to the man who has been vying for my affections since I accepted my new job. Namjoon was a great guy; smart, polite, rich, and practically every woman’s dream husband.   
  
I admit that I am attracted to him but–  
  
“We can’t have a life together, Y/N.” Sehun said. “You can’t keep waiting for me…”  
  
“You always come back.” I said as I reached out for his hand. Sehun looked down at our linked hands and squeezed it once.  
  
“What if I don’t, next time?” He murmured.  
  
“Don’t say that–”  
  
“I don’t want you to grow old alone just because you were waiting for someone who can never be here…whom you can never have a normal relationship with!” He blurted and his words cut through me like a knife.   
  
“Sehun–” I said as I watched his chest heaving, his face wearing an expression of despair. “Love, look at me.” I said as I cupped his cheeks which were now tear-stained.  
  
“I don’t want you to be alone.” He said. “I want you to live your life the way people should. Marry and have kids. Grow old and have grandchildren. I want you–”  
  
“I don’t mind being alone.” I interrupted. “As long as it’s with you.”   
  
Sehun groaned and grabbed my hands, pressing it together against his cheeks. “Y/N, please.” He pleaded. “Don’t let me stop you–”  
  
“You don’t get to make that choice for me, Sehun.” I said seriously. “You’re the only one I want.”   
  
Sehun opened his eyes and looked at me. Despite being in my late thirties, he still looked the same–and even looked at me the same way. 

 _I guess there are some things time can’t change_ , I thought just as the room fell still, like air had ceased. Sehun gulped before kissing my palms and looking me straight in the eye.  
  
“Forgive me, Y/N.” He said and in those words I felt the depth of his love…as well as the hint of a permanent goodbye.   
  
My heart thumped in panic but before I could ask what he meant, a deafening howl of wind sounded and the windows opened with a bang, letting in an incredibly strong rush of wind. I closed my eyes as my hair flailed around me and felt something soft against my forehead.   
  
Then there was quietness. As I opened my eyes, I gasped, seeing that the room remained intact and untouched…  
  
Except for the fact that the most important being in that room–in my life–has completely disappeared. 

* * *

Sehun never came back and had gone with the wind just like that.   
  
I dated as he asked but never married. I had children–adopted ones, and they are now grown up and are working for their own lives; painting the world as if it were their canvas.  
  
I am now living alone in my house near the sea, a place which I had decided to stay mainly because it reminded me so much of him.  
  
Of Sehun.  
  
By the sea, I felt the breeze rush through my hair like a soft caress, the way Sehun would as he tangled his fingers against the strands. The wind made me shiver just as Sehun had with his warm touches that trailed fire across my body.   
  
He was my first…my last…my everything. And nothing was to change that. Not even time could change that.   
  
“I will love you till time takes me away.” I whispered to space, hoping that he could hear it… Hoping the wind can carry my message through. 

* * *

  
  
~~~  
  
**BONUS**  
  
_**(Sehun’s POV)**_  
  
The skies were ash gray, with dark clouds that promised heavy rains. I walked pass the little country house, stopping to see dandelions rooted on the ground within the white picket fences.   
  
I watched as it swayed with the wind, each of its little flowers separating from its stem and flying towards where the wind was going.  
  
I hated it. Hated how the wind had easily taken all of them when I couldn’t even take  _one_ –the love of my life–with me.   
  
I continued to walk, treading upwards towards my destination. My heart grew heavier at every step and I felt as if a bag of weights was pulling me down the moment I caught sight of it.  
  
A sepulcher by the sea is where she lay; where Y/N laid sleeping. My knees buckled beneath me and I felt as if my world–regardless of time and dimensions–was crashing down on me.   
  
My lips shook as I tried to prevent my tears from falling…but they still did.   
  
The wind blew and I gasped, thinking how time has become so demanding nowadays. I wanted to stay here, bury myself if I must.   
  
I only want to be alone…  
  
_Alone with her._   _My Y/N. My love._  
  
I touched the cold stone where her name was engraved just as a single dandelion flew pass and lay on top of it.   
  
“I will love you till time takes me away.” I whispered. “I promise, Y/N. I promise.” 

  
The skies were ash gray, with dark clouds that promised heavy rains. I walked pass the little country house, stopping to see dandelions rooted on the ground within the white picket fences.   
  
I watched as it swayed with the wind, each of its little flowers separating from its stem and flying towards where the wind was going.  
  
I hated it. Hated how the wind had easily taken all of them when I couldn’t even take  _one_ –the love of my life–with me.   
  
I continued to walk, treading upwards towards my destination. My heart grew heavier at every step and I felt as if a bag of weights was pulling me down the moment I caught sight of it.  
  
A sepulcher by the sea is where she lay; where Y/N laid sleeping. My knees buckled beneath me and I felt as if my world–regardless of time and dimensions–was crashing down on me.   
  
My lips shook as I tried to prevent my tears from falling…but they still did.   
  
The wind blew and I gasped, thinking how time has become so demanding nowadays. I wanted to stay here, bury myself if I must.   
  
I only want to be alone…  
  
_Alone with her._   _My Y/N. My love._  
  
I touched the cold stone where her name was engraved just as a single dandelion flew pass and lay on top of it.   
  
“I will love you till time takes me away.” I whispered. “I promise, Y/N. I promise.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated!


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